Dilemma
I am dismayed to find myself in a dilemma.
A guy I met a few months ago has started calling and texting. I wish I could say that I'm thrilled about this, but I'm really not. Something about him makes me feel really uneasy. I guess you could say that he really made a bad first impression. It's difficult to pin down exactly what it is that he did that weirds me out; he just does. There is zero kilig, zero chemistry. In fact, if I can avoid him without being rude, I would.
I wish I could just say no and not give this guy a second thought. If I could, I wouldn't have a dilemma and this post wouldn't exist. Unfortunately, given the way I met him and given the expectations of some people, I cannot just brush him off. I am expected to give him a chance, which to be fair, I really haven't -- after all, how reliable can that bad first impression be?
It's definitely a bad sign, though, that whenever I receive a text message or a phone call, I find myself thinking, "Oh no. Not again..."
Is there some remote possibility that I might grow to like him? Sure, there is. Is there a high probability that I will grow to like him? I'd have to say no, given how I feel right now.
I wish there was some way to extricate myself from this situation, which sorta has disaster written all over it. The thing is (and here's the dilemma) -- which do you think is more unfair on my part?
(a) Not giving the guy a chance at all and ending things now? or...
(b) Giving him a chance and in the end realizing that I really don't like him... after he has already spent time, energy, and money on me?
* sigh *
Why do relationships have to be so complicated?
Tags: Personal, Relationships
Posted by CF at 10:00 PM
4 Comments
if you'd ask me, i'd say you go for the second option. by giving him (and yourself) a chance, at least you'd have known for sure that you really don't like him. and then there would be no more cause for dilemma, cause you HAVE tried and actually proven that your intuitions about him are right.
on the other hand, if you turn out to discover that he's ok naman pala, at least happy ending. it's a win-win situation, girl, so i'd say you try to go for it.
and then blog about it. haha!
I'm just afraid that if I end up being proven right (na I really don't like him), I will feel guilty because it will be like I've been misleading him. Kasi from the start, hindi ko na nga siya type, pero I didn't end it right away.
I understand what you mean about giving him and myself a chance. I deserve some credit for effort rin naman, because it seems like that's all I've been doing lately when I interact with him. After all, he still believes he has a chance right now, despite the fact that in reality, I just want to have as little to do with him as possible.
I can't help but wonder, though, if I'm getting a sign from the cosmos -- kasi the first activity he suggests we do together is... drumroll please... Shopping! LOL.
haha! uh-oh...sure ka bang hindi, ehem, malangsa yan? :-) i mean, shopping? he must be kidding. try watching "clueless" (that 90s alicia silverstone flick) and you might get a clue or two about guys who like to take girls out on shopping dates. ;-)
haha, oh well, at least your mom saved the day. moms rule!
you're right, not saying an outright "yes" or "no" to a guy has its risks. then again, who ever said that getting to know someone or being friendly with someone is a crime? you go out on a date with him or answer his messages, you're simply trying to get to know him better, right? no strings attached. so long as the way you deal with him is within neutral bounds, he can never be able to say for sure that you mean nothing more than friendship. dating or texting doesn't commit you to anything or anyone.
come to think of it, i think the "singles" scene is, in a way, all about shopping, as well (haha. going back to that word). you pick out something that you think might suit your tastes, but for as long as you haven't purchased it, you're still free to return it on the rack. sexist as it might sound, but the principle does apply to all genders--male, female, gay.
so wag kang ma-guilty if, after some effort from you, hindi mo pa rin talaga makuhang sikmurain ang idea of a "kayo". you were simply doing some "surveying", and it IS a free market, after all.
I remember that scene you're talking about in Clueless! hahaha! Didn't the guy Alicia was shopping with turn out to be gay? LOL. Well, to be fair to the guy, I don't think that's the case here.
I had such a huge laugh at your insight about the "singles scene" essentially being a form of "shopping"!! Haha! No wonder I have such trouble with the rituals!
Thanks very much for the reassurance... and for the insights about staying within "neutral bounds"... I will make a point of remembering that.
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