No Sparks
Had my blind date today, and if I had to describe it in just one word, it would be... relaxed.
To start with, he was around an inch shorter than me, and it didn't help that I was in my usual 2-inch heels. I think right at first glance, we both felt that this seriously could not lead to anything, so the pressure was off and there was no need to be too careful about what you say or do. It was easy to just be yourself, and the atmosphere became really relaxed and cordial.
It helped that my cousin came along. That kept the conversation going almost nonstop since I had not seen him in such a long time and we were each truly interested in what the other had been up to since we last met.
As to the blind date... I think if he had been four inches taller and a little less of a Mr. Nice Guy, he would have actually been quite interesting.
I never thought the day would come that I would say this of a blind date, but here it is -- he's too much of a nice, safe guy! I think I'd be bored out of my wits with someone like that after a few months. Everything's too structured, too controlled, too puritanical (for lack of a better word).
Here's another way to look at it -- think of ABC's TV series Lost and picture Jack vs. Sawyer. Then imagine someone even
more of a nice guy than Jack, someone with a lot less edge. That's what he was like.
I can understand why my uncle thought he would be a good guy to introduce to me, since he's really a good guy. And my mom would probably approve of him because he's a good guy.
But when the type of guy I find attractive is someone who's a good guy like Jack, but with a little more edge... well, let's just say that the spark's not there.
Tags:
Personal,
Relationships
Posted by CF at 11:35 PM
A Dangerous Prayer
Am currently in the middle of a bible study series on prayer, and man! The exercises are hard! Attending those sessions have made me realize that I'm guilty of having really simplistic and "safe" prayers.
The passage we were asked to read was
Psalm 139. The key verses are the ones at the end (v23-24):
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I totally understand why that's considered a dangerous prayer that only a daring Christian would dare to pray.
I feel like I'm too much of a sinner to be comfortable with asking God to search my heart. I worry about the thoughts and feelings that He will inevitably find therein. And yet, our challenge for this week is to pray this prayer and see where it leads.
I am too afraid to pray it, but at the same time, it bothers me that I'm afraid. Looks like there's no easy way out of this one.
Tags:
Religion
Posted by CF at 11:40 PM
Uh-oh
I have a blind date next Sunday, organized by one of my titos.
I know they mean well and that the guy's probably okay and all... But is this really necessary? I don't feel particularly sociable, outgoing, attractive, and [insert other positive adjectives here] these days.
I think the real problem is that I don't think I'm ready for any kind of meaningful relationship right now. I still have hang-ups, insecurities, and emotional baggage that I haven't really gotten rid of, and so it feels like any relationship is doomed to failure until I actually feel I'm ready.
Hay... think positive, think positive! It's still an entire week away, and who knows, by then you may have a change of attitude and actually be excited about doing this.
Pffft. Who am I kidding?!
Tags:
Personal,
Relationships
Posted by CF at 11:05 PM
Stomach Bug
Came down with some weird bug that gave me stomach cramps and sent me back to the rest room every few hours.
Lost my appetite, had a fever of 101.9F and just slept for two days. Didn't even feel like checking my mail. Everything that seemed so urgent just yesterday became very low priority. haha!
Antibiotics finally kicked in after three doses and I felt better afterwards.
Wonder what it was that I had eaten that disagreed with me so badly.
Oh well, the upside is that I lost two pounds in the process.
Tags:
Personal,
Health
Posted by CF at 11:20 PM
Tardiness and Respect
I find it particularly difficult dealing with people who are always late.
I mean, once or twice is acceptable and forgivable. But
always late? And
always more than 40 minutes late? It shows a lack of respect for the other person's time.
Among all the people I know who always show up late, there's one who really takes the cake. JG called me and asked to meet me at noon the next day. I called her at 11:40am on the day itself to say I'm on my way and to check that the meeting is still on. She tells me she's running late and requests that we move our meet to 1pm.
I wonder if she would have bothered to call me and request that we move our meeting time if I hadn't called her. For all I know, I would have been sitting alone looking like an idiot waiting until she arrived at 1pm. * Sigh *
And you know, despite readjusting the time to 1pm, she was still 40 minutes late. And her excuse is --
I had to stop by my house first because I needed to print something for you. Duh? I didn't ask for any printout. And besides, didn't you know you wanted to print something before you reset the time?
Hay... enough griping. My only consolation is that I'm now more confident in my ability to assess someone's character, because I didn't like her the first time I met her over 9 months ago. And each of my encounters with her just reinforces my already bad first impression.
I wish I didn't have to deal with her at all, but unfortunately, that's not the way life works.
Tags:
Personal,
Relationships
Posted by CF at 11:05 PM
Whoa!
Carla's scene last night with Amy Austria in Bituing Walang Ninging really gives me the chills no matter how many times I've seen it.
Video available on YouTube.
Tags:
TV
Posted by CF at 10:30 PM
Mixing It Up!
For the first time ever, I visited a True Value branch this afternoon because my friend S wanted to buy a can of paint.
Haha! That statement sounds so prosaic! Who goes to buy a can of paint at a hardware store, anyway?!? Makes me want to laugh just saying it.
Anyway, I was a bit skeptical at first, because there was only a small section with paint cans, and they were showing us this super thick stack of swatches that was a veritable rainbow of colors.
So I was blown away when I learned that they mix the paint up on demand once you've selected it! Want pale yellow? Just get a can of white paint, add a squirt of intense yellow, shake it up, and
voila! Pale yellow paint.
It's events like this that make me feel so out of touch with the real world. haha!
Tags:
Shopping,
Personal
Posted by CF at 6:50 PM
Edits
Against my better judgment, I'm blogging right now.
I really shouldn't be taking a break, but what the hey... I'm not in the right frame of mind yet to be doing what I really should be doing -- which is editing the next issue of the newsletter.
Am done with two articles, and I still have eight more to go... plus I have to write my own editorial. * sigh *
Ordinarily, I'd be really pumped about doing this, since it's something that I love doing. This time around, however, the allure isn't quite there. It's not completely gone, but it has faded a lot.
I think the main reason is that my contributors have been consistently late the past few issues. When the people you're collaborating with don't have their heart as deeply invested in a project as you do, you can't help but wonder why you should be that deeply invested yourself.
Ay, ewan.
Bahala sila. I will still do my job properly because there's no way I'm going to turn in second-rate work and have my name associated with a subpar output.
Sige. Back to work
na.
Tags:
Editing
Posted by CF at 2:15 PM
Ticked Off
I was so absolutely, royally ticked off today.
I met with a new acquaintance and offered him something that I was under no obligation whatsoever to offer (sorry to be vague, but that's the best I can do for now).
Instead of recognizing that I'm being generous, he turns the discussion into a negotiation and starts demanding more things. He says the additional things that he's asking for are mandatory before he will accept my offer.
Diyos ko! Natameme ako! Here I am handing the guy a silver platter, which he does not even have to work for, and he responds by saying he'll accept what I'm giving only if I throw in more stuff, and that I should agree because he's entitled to it?!
Grabe, ang kapal ng mukha mo!If that's the way you want to look at the situation, then by golly, you can forget we even had a discussion. Don't do me any favors by accepting!
What an #$*&^#$!
"Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile" -- Boy, that old saying suddenly took on new meaning today.
Tags:
Personal,
Relationships
Posted by CF at 11:15 PM
Sour Cream and Onion
This seems to be my latest flavor craving, which is amazing since I used to really dislike it.
Lately, though, I've been eating a lot of junk food in this flavor... whether it's Pringles or Piattos, local or foreign, it's starting to taste really good. haha!
Tags:
Food
Posted by CF at 11:25 PM
Party Thoughts
Went to a birthday party last night.
It was the first time that I ever went to a social gathering where the only person I knew was the host! Another friend was supposed to accompany me but she got a conflict at the last minute, so off I went all by my lonesome, to this dinner.
Of course I had some reservations about going -- who doesn't ever worry about being alone and not knowing anyone at a party? Thankfully it was a small group and I ended up sitting next to this really nice lady and her boyfriend. We had a fun time chatting about different things... they were funny, articulate, and open.
And just when things were going nicely, an older couple arrives and they end up seated next to us. And things sorta went downhill from there. The guy was one of those wisecrackers who always has something negative or derogatory to say about any topic. The girl made no effort at all to engage in conversation and would answer questions with monosyllabic replies despite several attempts on my part to chat.
I couldn't help but get the impression that they had already made up their minds about the kind of people they would be meeting at this party, and that felt they were "slumming" by being there. It was most obvious with the girl. She had classy features, porcelain skin, expensive earrings, and an elegant outfit -- all of which were just shrieking "big family money" everytime you look at her.
And by golly, I'm 100% sure that I was not being judgmental in any way last night because I was already having fun when they arrived and was more than happy to be warm and welcoming to newcomers.
Anyway, I was glad to make my escape soon after the birthday candles had been blown out by the celebrant.
Don't you just hate it when people act like they are superior to you simply because of the circumstances of their birth? They didn't even earn that "right" to be superior... it was just handed to them on a silver platter by a random twist of fate. And yet there they go, acting like being with you is distateful.
Maybe I'm just being over-sensitive.
Tags:
Personal
Posted by CF at 2:20 PM
