Up, Down and All Around

Wanted: A Mental Shift

One of my friends has been encouraging (pressuring?) me to read a book entitled "How to Find the Love of Your Life".

I'm around halfway through the book right now, and to be honest, I couldn't go much further because I got stuck on the first exercise.

The first premise of the book is that you need to know what value you are bringing to a relationship. So the first exercise was to write four paragraphs to highlight what's great about yourself (almost like writing a resume, but instead of a resume for a job, it's a resume for a relationship!).

I found that exercise really tough. Thinking about what's great about myself is not an activity that comes naturally to me. In fact, I actually found myself becoming depressed because when I first tried to do this exercise, I couldn't think of anything to write. Heck, I couldn't even think of an answer to the question: What accomplishment are you most proud of and why?

It was only later that I realized I couldn't write anything because it was too much of a mental switch from the way I normally think. I'm not the type of person who gives myself mental peptalks ("You can do it! Kayang-kaya mo yan! Remember how you aced that task last week?"). I don't dwell too much on my successes, and I spend too much time obsessing over my failures or what-might-have-beens. In fact, when I remember some of the things that I've managed to do, I surprise myself.

So, I definitely want... no, need a mental shift. It will be easier said than done, I think. Old habits are hard to break. But I admit that I need to do something about it.

I guess completing that first exercise will be a good start.

Tags: Personal, Relationships

Posted by CF at 12:05 AM